Saturday, April 30, 2005

Around Blogdom...

Rebecca at Rebecca Writes has an interesting piece on theology and women.

Amy Scott at Amy's Humble Musings tells us about Proverbs 31 and garage sales.

Parableman gives us a thoughtful piece on the subject of exposure of our children to the gay culture in schools by analogizing our reaction to the exposure of our children to the divorce culture in the schools.

Choir returned to its proper owner

Headline: "Woman jailed in choir theft" (Las Cruces Sun-News)

Its employees hold a different opinion

The Scream, for example...

Can't agree on suitable solvent

Headline: "Church members consider dissolving " (The Telegraph)

Was it an electric car?

Headline: "Man found sleeping in stolen car charged" (West Hawaii Today)

Such a rare occurrence, it merits headline attention...

Headline: "A bad idea is rejected" (The Maui News)

They are actually a brave and composed fish...

Headline: "Tuna fears exaggerated" (Honolulu Star Bulletin)

Pharmacies start offering meth to the public?

Headline: "Local pharmacies doing their part to reduce meth labs" (The New Bern Sun Journal)

Because the "little guy" always gets left out...

While self-serving, one's heart is warmed nevertheless

Headline: "Judge praises justice system in America" (The Newport Daily News)

Muslims optimistic that new pope will convert to Islam

We're done for when state taxes can vote too

Solution for a heart gone cold...

Headline: "Campaign to restore church's organ gets started" (Southeast Missourian)

More to the point, Two Armed Women Fire on Cairo Tour Bus

They had never done this before?

Friday, April 29, 2005

Anglican Church unanware that Civil War is over

Only 134,000 to go

Headline: "Messianic Jews in Israel claim 10,000" (Jerusalem Post)

Dobson's creeping scale of rhetoric...

On Senator Salazar's claim that Focus on the Family is the anti-christ.

James Dobson on April 25, 2005: "His response in an effort to change the subject is to attack us personally," Dobson said. "There's been no such rhetoric from here." (The Denver Post)

James Dobson on April 11, 2005: "I heard a minister the other day talking about the great injustice and evil of the men in white robes, the Ku Klux Klan, that roamed the country in the South, and they did great wrong to civil rights and to morality. And now we have black-robed men, and that's what you're talking about." (Hat Tip to Dignan's 75 Year Plan)

How to dig a hole...

The Denver Post records Senator Salazar's apology for calling Focus on te Family" antichrist:

"I spoke about Jim Dobson and his efforts and used the term 'the anti-Christ,"' Salazar said in a written statement from his office. "I regret having used that term. I meant to say this approach was un-Christian, meaning self-serving and selfish."

So apparently Dobson isn't really the anti-christ, he just acts like him...

Denver Post believes the term "anti-christ" comes from a 1970s movie

The Denver Post, discussing Senator Salazar's retraction of his statement that Focus on the Family is the antichrist wrote:

"Salazar uttered the theological term, popularized in the 1970s movie "The Omen," in an interview ...."

Dancers already attending

Headline: "Alabama billboard points patrons of topless dance club to church" (Associated Baptist Press News)

Churches now named after alien subcultures

Headline: "Carolina Cowboy Church to Open Next Thursday" (Christian Communication Network)

Now Dobson knows how all those popes felt

Adult male arrested for wanting to camp out at kindergarten all day

Headline: "Father Arrested for Trying to 'Opt-Out' Son from Gay Propaganda at Kindergarten" (

The father refused to leave the school unless his requests (that his son be excluded from amy teaching advocating homosexuality) were granted. Parker's requests had reportedly been denied by the principal, the director of education, and the superintendent. The police were summoned, who informed the father he would be arrested if he did not leave the school. When he did not, school officials had Parker arrested for trespassing.

The astute journalists at Religion Journal apparently feel comfortable characterizing this as an arrest for trying to opt his son out of gay propagandizing.

"Solid Gold" calf...


The future looks sweet

The rest of us are fine with it

Injured in duel with Chris Matthews

The Girl Scout slogan: "Do a good turn daily"

Still no links to the modern age...

Sadly, experts still can't make subjects and verbs agree

It just doesn't seem fair to have to pay for damaged products

What is the crowd training for?

Thursday, April 28, 2005

P.C. Scholars also take "Correct" out of politics

The hardest part is filing as "Self-employed" with the IRS

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Gloria Estefan hopes to revive her career

If your right eye cause you to sin...

Headlin: "Man who lost eye stopping a rape honored" (Rocky Mountain News)

What do you need to know?

Headline: "Tips sought in dog poisoning" (Mercury News)

Son of Sam?

Because the football players never seem to notice them

Inconvenient stores?

Vocational coach questions his future career

And his doctor says he's innocent

Buffalo could take U.S. Open by storm

A herd of buffalo that got loose and wandered around a well-to-do neighborhood has been recovered.

AP reports that in the malay, "[O]ne buffalo was seen leaping over a net on the tennis court to evade capture. "

No IPods arrested yet

Taking the old saying, "May the best man win" to a new place

Picket like an Egyptian

And I thought that they just played soccer in Columbia...

"Ms. I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up?"

Headline: "Dethroned Ms. Wheelchair Given New Title" (AP)

Alternative Comment: As if her original title wasn't pejorative enough...

Proving the advantages of having connections to the President

Mt. Sinai?

Leaving behind politics and law, he looks for an honorable profession

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Using software to model death row outcomes

Excuse this rant.

I read an article on the death penalty from the Christian Science Monitor, and I just can't lay off from commenting.

Christian Science Monitor: Researchers took 28 years of data on prisoners facing the death sentence and fed it into a software program, known as "an artificial neural network." The report says the software predict with more than 90 percent accuracy who would be executed. The implication, saidDee Wood Harper, one of the researchers, is that "if this mindless software can determine who is going to die and who is not going to die, then there's some arbitrariness here in the [United States justice] system."

Res Ipsa: How can the software be "mindless" if we dare call it "an artificial neural network?" And the fact that software can predict who will die and who will not, belies the claim that the system is arbitrary. If the system were "arbitrary," no software could possibly predict an outcome, since an "arbitrary" system, in the nature of the case, would entail completely random outcomes without pattern or predictability.

The Christian Science Monitor: "The neural network, which learns by constantly scanning the data for patterns, was given 1,000 cases from 1973 to 2000 where the outcome was known. Once trained on that information, it was fed another 300 cases but without the outcome included. That's when its prediction proved highly accurate."

Res Ipsa: So now we have flip-flopped from arbitrary outcomes to the discovery of "patterns."

Christian Science Monitor: What some observers find alarming about the outcome is that the 19 points of data supplied on each death-row inmate contained no details of the case. Only facts such as age, race, sex, and marital status were included, along with the date and type of offense. "That's what makes this important," Dr. Harper says. "We didn't look at the crime itself. We didn't look at whether the defendant had received a fair or unfair representation. We simply looked at characteristics of the inmate."

Res Ipsa: "No details of the case." Well, no "details" except the "date and type of offense," that is. Since the subjects studied were on death row, here's a wild guess: I'll bet the offense we call "murder" came up pretty often. You see, they didn't look at "the crime itself," they just looked at "the type of offense." (And if you can make sense out of that distinction, you are a better philosopher than I.) The researchers magnanimously add that they didn't look at whether the defendant "received a fair or unfair representation," which is a good thing since it would be a measure with no ascertainable scientific objectivity. They simply looked at the "characteristics of the inmate," which I take it I am to understand includes not only their age, race, sex and marital status, but also the offense they committed.

Christian Science Monitor: "Despite all our efforts since the 1970s, who gets executed still appears to be random and arbitrary."

Res Ipsa: So I am to understand that, in America, people who are never accused and convicted of murder after a trial by jury stand exactly the the same chance of being executed by the state as someone who has?


Perhaps hurt skier is drinking spirits after ordeal

Some things are worse than death

Headline: "Man Drinks Own Pee To Survive" (CBS4 Denver)

Lawyer relies on age-old principles of trial practice...

Headline: "Prosecutor says dog hair is key in homicide retrial" (Watertown Daily Times)

Unlike the old one...

Sadly, John Belushi remains unavailable

Why were they at the cockfight anyway?

Headline: "Animal-rights activists protest cockfight fines" (Lexington Herald-Leader)

Picky, picky...

Sweeping tax an alternative to the income tax?

It's an old police technique: the skidmarks lead right to the perpetrator

Lawmakers allege proximity to opening of Star Wars Episode III merely coincidental

Proving yet again, better late than never...

Headlines that look they belong in the past

Headline: "'Witches' lynched by angry mob" (The Australian)

N.B. The only clue this is a modern headline are the quotation marks around "Witches."

Monday, April 25, 2005

How well does it pay?

Presumably not to logging company

This staff writer obviously not married

That pretty much narrows it down

Now that's a family I want to party with

Doesn't a conviction make a plea irrelevant?

Headline: "Convicted felon changes plea to guilty" (McAlister News Capital)

Private Justice, "again"

Headline: "Family keeps killer behind bars again" (

Exactly when you don't need them

And we thought not paying at the gas pump was a problem...

An excuse the cops will never buy

Headline: "Traffic lights wasting gas?" (KARK News)

Tammy Faye lost famed eyelashes to cancer

Subheadline: "Former televangelist says loss was liberating" (MSNBC)

“I realized I wasn’t just eyelashes,” said Messner, adding that she glued on false ones.

Well, I guess the cat's out of the bag now...

Canine union investigating

Headline: "Drug dog improves efficiency" (The Post Crescent)

Merchant of Venice not yet named a suspect

But now that I think of it, forget the "main" thing and call your Senator

Albert Mohler Jr on Senate filibusters: “Our main message is salvation through grace alone, by faith alone, through Christ alone. The main message that we want to communicate is we want to see all persons come to know the Lord Jesus Christ as Savior. We want to communicate to all that we are not calling persons merely to be moral; we want them to be believers in the Lord Jesus Christ... As evangelical Christians, our main concern is the citizenship that is ours in heaven that has been purchased by our Savior."

Churches now named after musical genres

As a subscriber to the doctrine of total depravity, I beg to differ...

Headline: "Homosexuals Get More Depraved Everyday" (

Is this to imply he has a "darker" side?

It's just the price that hurts

Sure, just blame the little kids...


Let's hope his prayers fare better as pope...

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Bible bingo?

Headline: "County workers hit OT jackpot" (Chicago Tribune)

Meanwhile, terrorists roam the countryside, unnoticed

Headline: "Tiny radar antennas track butterflies' flight" (San Francisco Chronicle)

I didn't know popes gave investment advice. Was it ex cathedra?

Headline: "New Pope Stresses Bonds at Installation" (The Herald Sun)

Was that before or after he murdered them?

Headline: "Two Women Claim Murder Suspect Beat Them " (The Herald Sun)

Well, if you insist...

I'm glad he enjoyed the show

Headline: "Rumsfeld Cheered At Grand Ole Opry" (

I never thought I would laugh at idolatry

For a hilarious foray into idolatrous commercialism, visit our friend at Spare Change. He has a great post on a complementary assortment of Jesus sports figurines, including captions suited to the manifest absurdity. My hat is off to this excellent blogger.

Can anyone explain this story?

Headline: "Skydiver Dies After Striking Plane in Fla." (AP)


  • Notice the nuance in the skydiver's striking the plane as opposed to the plane striking the skydiver. How does a skydiver "strike a plane" and end up with his legs severed? That sounds a lot more to me like a plane hitting a skydiver.
  • He "Hit the airplane that he jumped from...The victim had opened his parachute when he struck the left wing at about 600 feet." Are you telling me that he was jumping out of the plane at 600 feet? That does not sound like your normal skydiving-for-pleasure altitude. You would barely have enough time to open a chute at that altitude.
  • He "Struck the wing of a plane as he descended." So was he descending, or was he just jumping out of the plane? Did the pilot circle around, descend and fly through the area where his jumpers would be descending?

"Skydive DeLand, which organized the jump, said Saturday's accident was not common. The death was the second involving the company this year. "

What a relief; I'm sure we're all sleeping easier now.

Check this out...

John Schroeder at Blogotional posts this amazing video of a man that I could only decribe as a human machine gun.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

How often do they have to renew it?

Also fish...

Did he still have his finger?

Good luck...

Do they even wear ties?

Dirt Devil company considering copyright infringement claim

Buccaneers responsible for their own lousy season

Friday, April 22, 2005

And we thought crime didn't pay...

Copy editor still at large...

No comment yet from Don King

Headline: "Bill Cosby to Fight 11 Women " (News Radio 600 KOGO)

Disney artists permanently animate Mickey Mouse

I thought the only issue was who put it there...

President Bush and Earth Day

Headline: "Bush Uses Earth Day To Push 'Clear Skies' Plan" (WNBC.Com)

Oh Well...

Update: "Bush's Earth Day rained out" (The Times of India)

The death of John Paul II?

What do the other 80% use?

Investigation ongoing as to whether he is also responsible for the disappearance of RAX

Apparently, the rest were left to die

Thursday, April 21, 2005

I suppose you hadn't heard...

Still no cure for common cold

Go visit Blogotional

For enlivening, thought-provoking posts, visit John Schroeder at Blogotional.

The first time I saw the name of this blog, I didn't click on it for fear that I would only find light devotional reading. Not that I'm against light devotional reading, but trust me, there'e plenty out there.

This blog is devotional in the highest sense of the word. Always an interesting read, it's worth a regular visit. John is out there gathering good information and thoughtful comments for it; we need only tap in.

A headline begging for a punchline...if I could only figure out what it is

Headline: "How do Catholics & Baptists differ" (Baptist press)

What's worse, they can't even spell...

Well, just as long as she doesn't receive the Eucharist...

Joice Meyer under scrutiny for expensive homes for children paid by ministry

"In November 2003, Meyer told the Post-Dispatch that the ministry bought the homes ... for her protection. The homes where the children live surround Meyer's home and served as buffers against stalkers, Meyer said at the time. "

Other people feel that their children are stalking them.

Delay just happy its not his proctologist

A neutral headline that I'm sure China would have no objection to

Some on his chest; others on his shoulders...

Headline: "Where Do I Stand on Rick Warren?" (Agape Press)

Journalists amazed that corpses are found in tombs...

Now that they're sure he won't be coming back to live there...

WW II Vets puzzled

"Mad cow" another matter entirely

Now he's sure to be sympathetic to the accused

Occasionally, they also hit each other with them

L.A. Attorney Moonlights As a Porn Star

from AP: "There isn't anything more unethical about that than being an actor or a novelist or somebody who sells frozen yogurt,"

Yet another national problem?

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Thomas Jefferson: Judicary Sapping the Foundations of the Constitution

Thomas Jefferson:

"At the establishment of our constitutions, the judiciary bodies were supposed to be the most helpless and harmless members of the government. Experience, however, soon showed in what way they were to become the most dangerous; that the insufficiency of the means provided for their removal gave them a freehold and irresponsibility in office; that their decisions, seeming to concern individual suitors only, pass silent and unheeded by the public at large; that these decisions, nevertheless, become law by precedent, sapping, by little and little, the foundations of the constitution, and working its change by construction, before any one has perceived that that invisible and helpless worm has been busily employed in consuming its substance. In truth, man is not made to be trusted for life, if secured against all liability to account."

That was written on October 31, 1823.

182 years later, have the foundations of the Constitution collapsed?

But are they for the Catholic Church?

The New York Times: "European Catholics are not against the Catholic Church. They go to church at least once or twice a year and bring their children to be baptized and confirmed. Rather, they have made their own personal arrangements with the church and do not want to be disturbed. They do not want to be evangelized. That is why the pope failed to make the church more attractive."

In effect allowing state judges, like Judge Greer, to decide such constitutional questions...

Phyllis Schlafly: "We want to urge Congress to immediately pass the Constitutional Restoration Act, which has been introduced by Senator Shelby and Congressman Aderholt," she says. "This would take away from the federal courts the power to hear challenges to the acknowledgement of God as a violation of the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment."


Russell Crowe on Scientology

This from au "I read Dianetics by [Scientology founder] L. Ron Hubbard , I got a couple of videos, and I took it all in," Crowe said.

"It just seems like a religion that is perfect for people who feel like they need a grounding, who feel that the world has run off on them.

"With any of these religions, as long as the heart and soul is positive, then to me it's all good."

Pope Benedict on Protestants

From AP : They are "not churches in the proper sense. ... Though we believe they suffer from defects, (they) have by no means been deprived of significance and importance in the mystery of salvation."

From CT: "Those who are baptized in these communities are, by Baptism, incorporated in Christ and thus are in a certain communion, albeit imperfect, with the [Roman Catholic] Church."

The jury just might send him there

Headline: "Man Who 'Mooned' Jury Competent for Trial" (AP)

"I ain't in my right mind," Jackson insisted. He also told the judge: "I am going to the moon. The spirits are gonna take me to the moon."

Orphans claim discrimination

Perhaps they could chaperon teens at the mall

Terri Schiavo case blamed

Playing God from the Bench

Chuggets asked for "a piece of your commentary on the power of the judiciary. They seem these days to be playing the role of God. Specifically, why and how do they get away with legislating from the bench?"

First of all, assuming for the sake of argument that judges legislate, this does not make them God. Although this point is obvious, it should nevertheless be borne in mind.

The legislature isn't God either, even though they legislate on a regular basis.

For most purposes the "power of the judiciary to legislate" doesn't amount to much because, most of the time they are construing statutes. If they interpret a statute in a way that the legislative branch doesn't like, or that is out of accord with the intent of the legislative branch, the legislative branch simply amends their statute to fix the problem. Even with all the cries of judicial activism, and even in the case of what many would call activist judges, this takes care of the problem in almost all cases.

The area of concern is in the area of constitutional interpretation. The constitution is regarded as the supreme law of the land. In the famous case of Marbury v. Madison, the Supreme Court boldly decided that it had final authority to decide what the law is in the event of a conflict of opinion among the branches. This was an extraordinary decision because it made the Supreme Court the final authority on matters of constitutional interpretation. This meant that the Court could declare an act of Congress or an act of the Executive to be unconstitutional.

It is not self-evident that this is the case. The Constitution does not itself address this question.

It is in the case of construing the meaning of the Constitution that the question of activism and judicial "legislating" becomes the most controvertial and troubling because a decision that the Constitution limits the Congress from passing a certain kind of law (for example a law regulating abortion) becomes absolute.

Herein lies the delicate stucture of our Constitutional system. What if Congress just didn't care what the Court said, including its decision on Marbury? What could the Court really do about it? Or what if the Executive decided to flaunt the decisions of the Court and claim that he had a more accurate interpretation of the Constitution than the Court did? What could the Court really do about it?

Frankly, one of the most remarkable things about American Constitutional history is how little this sort of challenging has actually occurred. By and large, Congress and the President grit their teeth and take it.

This is probably because everyone understands how bad it would be for the branches to split apart on a constitutional question. If this sort of thing were to go on, it would begin to tear apart the very framework of a system of law because you would have lawlessness among the branches.

The tacit nod by the Executive and Legislative to the Court is a tradition born of necessity, necessity that the branches accede to someone in order to avoid chaos. The Judiciary has been given this role likely because they are the branch best equipped, by basic design, to evaluate purely legal questions. Also their lifetime appointments afford them cover in the face of the wave of popular opinion. They have the luxury of reading what the text means without the temptation of worrying whether they will be ousted from office as a result.

Philosophically, this makes sense. If the majority wants something badly enough, it can amend the Constitution. In other words, it has a remedy. Th minority does not. If controvertial questions of Constitutional interpretation are left solely to the majority, it would tend to oppress the minority who should have otherwise been protected by the Constitutional provision at issue. As a general rule, a majority has little incentive to protect a minority. The Court, with its lifetime appointment, is in the best position to both perceive and enforce Constitutional protections for the minority.

The problem of "legislating" from the bench arises when the Court is loosed from the moorings of the original meaning of the guiding document (whether a constitution or a law). That is why it is so important to select judges who are ideologically committed to original meaning and are willing and able to restrain their personal preferences in matters of intepretation.

That is how they "legislate" from the bench. The practice stops when the Executive and the Congress stop the madness by appointing judges who have a healthy ideology of judging, and refrain from putting hatchetmen on the bench to politicize it. Both liberals and conservatives can be guilty of this practice. A healthy state of affairs requires an informed electorate that understands the value and necessity of originalist judging and clamors for it, indeed insists upon it.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

But did it make a sound?

Remarkably, fired reporter puts his finger right on the problem...

Headline: "Los Angeles Times Fires Reporter" (AP)

"I will release any and all versions of the story and provide any documentation," the fired reporter said. "The story I tell will be considerably different than the one the Los Angeles Times tells."

Chief Justice Rehnquist and his card table

Newsweek reports in its article, War on Judges, "Congress can't lower judges' salaries or fire them—provisions tucked into the Constitution by the Framers, who watched judges serve at the whim of King George III. But lawmakers can eliminate their positions altogether. 'We could reduce the size of the Supreme Court,' says Rep. Steve King. 'It doesn't take nine judges, it only takes one. It would just be Chief Justice William Rehnquist with his card table.' King admits that idea is not under serious consideration. But a plan to split the notoriously liberal Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has enough traction to make some of its judges nervous."

If we can have an "Army of One," why not?

So tell us what you really think...

From Cynthia Hall Clements, The Lufkin Daily News, and her article, Evangelicals Want to Control Judiciary:

"Some evangelicals wave the banner of Jesus Christ, chant His words over their subversive political tactics, and demand God's blessings on their politics. They exploit faith to justify their oppressive political agenda, and in the process stifle religious freedoms and trample on civil liberties in this country."

Look at the bright side; at least she said it's only some.

A metric foray into Hebrews 11

Following is my feeble attempt to put Hebrews 11:1-16 to meter and rhyme. I like to try to put Scripture to verse as a devotional exercise, since it forces you to meditate on a text carefully and thoughtfully.

My theology teaches me that to the extent it reflects the text, it may be of some use. Past that, I'm afraid it's not worth much.

I've taken it to the end of the chapter, but fear that posting that all at once would simply be too much for the reader to bear. (Perhaps it's already too much.)

Follow along in your Bible and see where I have gone astray or hit the mark.

Faith, the substance of things hoped for
and the proof of things unseen,
for which ancients were commended,
by the God whom they esteemed.
Faith informs us that creation
dawned its light at God's command,
and ascribes this awesome mystery
to the unseen Maker's hand.
Faith secured the younger Abel's
better sacrifice than Cain.
For this faith he was commended
counting righteousness his gain.
Now this ancient martyred prophet,
muted by his brother's crime,
by his faith is ever speaking
through the corridors of time.
Only faith could translate Enoch,
cheating death and its decay.
Only faith can comprehend how
God has taken him away.
Without faith no one can please Him;
all who look must come to see
He exists and is rewarding
those who seek Him earnestly.
Think of Noah's fruitless preaching
to the souls he tried to warn
as the ark slowly assembled
in the shadow of the storm.
He by faith brought condemnation
to the world that he addressed,
and by faith received salvation
as an heir of righteousness.
Abraham by faith obeying
left his home at God's command.
Then he settled as a stranger
in a hostile foreign land.
Pitching tents, as would his children,
with a promise and a sign,
he looked forward to the city
of a heavenly design.
Even though his wife was barren
and himself as good as dead,
Abraham by faith enabled,
bore the son for whom he pled.
He knew God who made the promise
would be faithful to expand
his descendants beyond counting
like the stars and grains of sand.
All the champions of the righteous
stood by faith until they died,
finding hints of welcome promise
in the fading eventide.
They were aliens and strangers,
ever yearning on the roam.
Unashamed, their faithful Sovereign
gave them heaven for a home.

Some don't

Now that's what I call an encroachment on Executive power

No pain, no gain

Headline: "At Lord's Gym, teens find faith in fitness" (LA Times)

"The Lord's Gym makes no attempt at hiding its Christianity — after all, its logo is a drawing of a pumped-up Christ doing push-ups with an enormous cross on his back. "

From the Boston Tea Party to This

The New York Times reports that the Supreme Court will decide whether the government can ban the importation of a hallucinogenic tea that is central to the religious rituals of a small Brazil-based church.

The tea, known as hoasca, is made from plants that grow in the Amazon region and that produce a chemical listed by both the federal government and an international narcotics trafficking treaty as a controlled substance.

They're not going to throw it in the harbor.

3 years? 50 years? 100?

One little comma makes all the difference

But then again, who cares?

A whole new salvation initiative...

Headlines: "Churches Install Defibrillators to Save Lives" (

The purpose-driven solar sytem

Headline: "Rick Warren Launches Global Initiative" (

Expanding her empire yet further...

Headline: "Oprah Tells Christians to "Surrender All" (

Opinions differ...

Headline: "Pope on path to sainthood soon?" (CN News)
Headline: "Pope John Paul II - the AntiChrist" (Magic City Morning Star)

Perhaps they might consider the entire series?

Mary Poppins seen floating away from the scene

Better than facing a vote of "No-confidence"

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