What was the consolation prize?

Headline: "Bush Wins Enthusiastic Welcome in Georgia" (AP)

Double jeapoardy apparently doesn't apply to deity

Headline: "Jesus Christ in legal battle in W.Va." (AP)

Too bad algae can't read the papers

Headline: "Md. Researchers Predict Bad Year for Algae" (AP)

Noah's covenant revoked

Headline: "Christians Urged to Adapt to Fluid World" (AP)

I didn't know al-Quaida had a moderate wing

Headline: "Accused al-Qaida Member Says He's Moderate" (AP)

Beware of Federal Agents with fake badges

Headline: "Federal Agents Seize 1,000 Fake Badges" (AP)

But not another?

Headline: "Police Question Father of One Slain Girl" (AP)

I guess they all rate as popular

Headline: "Consumer Reports Rates Popular Diets" (AP)

And if they don't?

Headline: "U.N. May Relocate During Renovations" (AP)

Amazing things they find in Egyptian tombs

Headline: "CT Scans Show What King Tut Looked Like" (AP)

Supporting actors still allowed to be reckless

Headline: "Study Urges More Care for Lead Exposure" (AP)

Meteorologists frozen out

Headline: "Investors Debate Climate Change at U.N." (AP)

The unanticipated side effects of the Iraq invasion...

Headline: "Earth Has Become Brighter, but No One is Sure Why" (New York Times)

Having maximized animal intelligence...

Headline: "US Moves to Revitalize Human Intelligence" (Voice of America)

Follow-up

Headline: "Wife of Evangelist Oral Roberts Dies" (AP)

The 80's and 90's? Well that's another matter...

Headline: "Wash. Mayor Denies Molesting Boys in '70s" (AP)

Just swift...

Headline: "Runaway Bride Denies Having Cold Feet" (ABC News)

Fast Times at the ALF...

Headlines: "Volunteers still needed for senior all night party" (Independent Record)

Profound...

Headline: "Moratorium by county would stop development" (Las Vegas Sun)

KFC playfully takes on PETA and Pamela Anderson

Headline: "Pamela turns down lunch date with KFC boss" (AZ Central.com)

Pamela Anderson has been criticizing KFC for its treatment of chickens. The chairman and CEO of the company wrote and asked her to lunch to keep her "fully abreast" of the company's ethical practices. "Pamela, the facts are 'Stacked' against you," he wrote.

Subheadline:

"Chickens You Eat May not Always Live Fairly Good Lives"

Prof. Ian Duncan, an animal-welfare expert at the University of Guelph:

"Things are not quite as bad as PETA is making out, but it's certainly not all sweetness and light, it's not a bed of roses, for the chickens. Most consumers assume that the animals that they are eating have fairly good lives and I'm afraid that's not always true."

Question: If they are leading a "fairly good life," what are they doing on my plate? This guy has a pretty low standard for a good day.

Christian T-Shirts

From The Christian Science Monitor:

"My God can kick your God's butt."

Abreadcrumb & Fish

G.A.P (for God Answers Prayers)

Got Jesus?

"You have the faith. Get the gear."

"Rebel with a cause" (depicts Jesus on the cross)

"Lord's Gym," Jesus strains under the cross, and the shirt reads: "The weight of the world's sins. Bench press this!".

"Who would Jesus bomb?"

'I prayed in school; I'm a real menace to society'

Muslim population on other planets remains unclear

Arsalan Iftikhar, the national legal director of the Washington-based Council on American-Islamic Relations as quoted here:

"There are over a billion Muslims on Earth."

The art of overstatement...

Headline: "Judicial Filibusters and The Masters of Good and Evil" (AFA Online)

A new trend in Chicago politics...

Headline: "Chicago Mayor Embarrassed Over Corruption" (AP)

Et tu, 007?

Headline: "Nichols: Third Man Helped With Bombing" (AP)

"Roger Moore gave the explosives to Timothy McVeigh and provided additional bomb components recently found in Nichols' former Kansas home."

Advocating for home team now unauthorized

Headline: "Texas House Bans 'Suggestive' Cheerleading" (AP)

Baby dies from treatment?

Headline: "Texas Baby Dies Before Treatment Withheld" (AP)

Live long and prosper

Headline: "Oral Roberts' Wife in Coma After Fall" (AP)

It looks like the faith healer and popularizer of "seed faith" is about to lose his beloved wife.

Oral Roberts on meeting his wife, Evelyn:

"On the way back from fishing," he writes, "I stopped my car on a sandbar to talk." He said, "Evelyn, my huge, happy, hilarious heart is throbbing tumultuously, tremendously, triumphantly, in a lasting, long-lived love for you. As I gaze into your beauteous, bounteous, beaming eyes, I am literally lost in a daring, delightful dream in which your fair, felicitous, fancy-filled face is ever present like a colossal, comprehensive constellation. Will you be my sweet, smiling, soulful, satisfied spouse?" To that Miss Evelyn replied, "Listen here, boy! If you're trying to propose to me, talk in the English language." So, he said, "I did it over again, and I was accepted. And we sealed it with a kiss."

Since they don't celebrate Christmas in Israel...

Headline: "Israel Makes Clear the Holocaust Message" (AP)

Where togo?

Headline: "Togo Refugees Weigh Not Returning Home" (AP)

I can't wait

Headline: "Ho-Chunk Nation to share culture" (WiscNews.com)

It seems like that should earn them a high grade

Headline: "Iowa gets low grade for giving new parents help in workplace" (DesMoines Register)

Police find safer techniques for fighting crime

Problem: "Phoenix Man Dies After Being Tasered" (AP)

Solution: "Police use chewing tobacco, bubble gum to nab burglars" (WSLS)

"The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" due out December 9

Headline: "The wonderful world of 'Narnia'" (USA Today)

Official movie website here.

The grand predictive power of evolutionary theory...

Headline: "Human evolution at the crossroads" (MSNBC)

"Scientists are fond of running the evolutionary clock backward, using DNA analysis and the fossil record to figure out when our ancestors stood erect and split off from the rest of the primate evolutionary tree. But the clock is running forward as well. So where are humans headed?"

"Evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins says it's the question he's most often asked, and 'a question that any prudent evolutionist will evade.'"

We sure are impressed.

Footnote: The Coming Extinction of MSNBC
Headline: "DROPPING THE MS FROM MSNBC?" (New York Post)

How comforting

Headline: "Despite Finger, Body Parts in Food Rare" (AP)

Ultimately, is there an explanation for his injury?

Headline: "No Explanation for Firefighter's Recovery" (AP)

Buggies remain stupid

Headline: "New Computers Make Grocery Carts Smarter" (AP)

On or off?

Headline: "U.S. Climber Falls to Death on Everest" (AP)

At least they're not pedophiles

Headline: "Rehabilitated Dolphins Released in Fla." (AP)

Neither am I

Headline: "Doctors: 67-Year-Old Serbian Not Pregnant" (AP)

What does "meaningless" mean?

Headline: "Film ratings for violence labeled as meaningless" (Washington Times)

Joyce Meyer income...Yikes!

Headline: "Meyer received millions, records show" (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

"The ministry's board of trustees, which is headed by Joyce Meyer, agreed to pay her a $900,000 annual salary in 2002 and 2003. "

"The board agreed to give her husband, Dave Meyer, the board's vice president, an annual salary of $450,000 in each of those same two years."

"The board agreed to provide the couple with free personal use of a corporate jet and luxury cars, a $2 million home where all bills are paid by the ministry and a separate $50,000-a-year housing allowance. The ministry paid $1.475 million to buy three houses for the three Meyer children."

"The board authorized Joyce and Dave Meyer to control a $790,000 fund to be used at their discretion for bonuses to 'executive management.' "

But whatever you do, don't set the church on fire...

Headline: "Midnight Oil group fires up young people about religion" (Clarksburg Exponent Telegram)

Revival illegal!

Headline: "Pastor arrested for allegedly setting fire to own church" (ABC13)

Yikes!

Headline: "Motion to sever denied in English case " (The Valdosta Daily Times)

And to think they drive public policy...

Headline: "Congress May Require Closer Scrutiny to Get a Driver's License" (New York Times)

But will it be to each other?

Headline: "Groom Hopes They'll Still Marry" (CBS News)

And what did he ever do for us?

Headline: "Allies Recover Letter for Al-Zarqawi" (AP)

It's high time...

Headline: "Palestinians Begin Anti-Corruption Effort" (AP)